The Fallout

(My mom trying to help Hannah see Jackson without coughing on him)

Hannah loves babies. Adores babies. So I envisioned that I'd bring home our new baby and she'd be happy as a clam to have have him here. I also envisioned that life would go back to normal quickly, that I'd be able to keep Hannah in her routine and make sure everyone was clean and dressed and happy and well fed and getting enough sleep.

What was I thinking??

Jackson was up every 1.5 - 2 hours in the night because he soaked through his diaper. No matter what size/brand of diaper I try nothing seems to contain his urine. I finally got him to sleep around 5:45 am and he was able to sleep for a solid four hours. But right after he fell asleep Hannah woke up and screamed at the top of her lungs, banging every door in the house and stomping her feet from 6 am to 9 am non stop (sorry downstairs neighbors). She could not be distracted and would not offer an explanation for her bad mood. Finally she told us her ears hurt and said, "Take Hannah to doctor." We figured if she was requesting the doctor's visit we should probably take her. Frankly I was relieved to have Jack get her out of the house for awhile. But the doctor said that nothing is wrong with her other than this annoying cold virus that won't seem to go away.


In the meantime I gave Jackson his first bath in 4 days, attempted to run a comb through Hannah's hair and put her in a matching outfit (with a tutu on top). I sort of picked up the living room and loaded the dishwasher, but didn't do much else. Jack went to the store for me and came home with chocolate milk, chips and hot dogs. So much for clean, rested and well fed...

Today Hannah also kicked me and told me she hated me. She told Jack she hated him. She told her aunts whom she normally adores that she hated them. She kept saying, "Don't worry baby, your mama come back soon." Apparantly she thinks and/or wishes that this baby wasn't a permanent part of our home.
(Yes, I know it is awful that my two-year-old says "hate", we're working on it...)

Am I doing something wrong here?

I think that it will get better once she feels better and we don't have to constantly keep her away from the baby. I also think she will be happier when we can get sort of back into her routine.

In the meantime I still adore her and think she is so cute and funny. I am grateful to my mom and mother-in-law for entertaining her during the days so that we have a better shot at keeping Jackson healthy. I hope she decides not to hate me and Jackson soon.